As many of you know, I am absolutely obsessed with the Lonely Ghost brand; run by my true celebrity inspiration, INDY BLUE. I recently started following one of her friends on Instagram, Tristan, who (sidebar) has a really cool ring company with the coolest mountain collection. Besides the point, I did have a reason for bringing this up. He posted a series of stories the other day that got me thinking. Our notes app on our phone is POWERFUL.

I mean, you can write anything and everything in them. But I just think about the fact that we use Pinterest for inspiration or our camera rolls to see updates. But what if our notes app just became a journal to us.

I love the fact that each note has different meanings. Generically, I keep all my passwords there, maybe a list for something but also without noticing, I started jotting down ideas. My bucket list. My secret (not so secret) caption list for Instagram posts. Memorable texts that I have sent. Recipes. Book ideas. There are just so many things that can be used with this app that brought up the idea that we can do little check-ins with ourselves. Write down our emotions for the day… little inspirational quotes we’ve seen… shows to watch… ideas… this may be super random but think about it. The notes app can be the best journal we have.

I know I’ve been writing a lot about expectations and motivation and other emotions, but this platform is one of the only outlets to just being fully transparent. My support system is AMAZING. I have lovely humans who lift me up and who surround me with serotonin, inspiration, and support. But this platform. Right here. This lets me reflect.

I think about how I get in my own head a lot. Ironically, as I am typing this out, I am in a loop because if I think about it continuously, I am just getting in my head more. I overthink a lot and I tend to get overwhelmed by the thousands of wheels of thought in my head on a loop 24/7. Sometimes I wonder if my thoughts can just take a breather for one moment. A small part of a second that can just leave me blank and let me not worry.

To be honest, there has never been a day in my life where I haven’t been worrying. I know that it genetically fits into my persona, but I wish sometimes it could just calm down. There are times where this part of me helps me succeed in high-stress situations since sometimes I am just not as phased as what it feels like to not be stressed.

Lately, the way I get in my head has been unhealthy. I feel like if I feel like something is going well, then I am bound for something else to not. This mindset is a spiral where it can be continuous and then you can’t be in the moment and be happy for the little achievements. This isn’t a loop I want to be in. But sometimes, I catch myself in this mindset. I’ve learned that if you can catch yourself in these moments of vulnerability or little weakness, it is easier to train your brain to find the little things that help get you out of them. I find that distractions are a big help to me. I listen to music, go outside or watch a comfort show because after many years of anxiety and stress, if I don’t pay attention to the endless ‘sticky’ thoughts, then they have no reason to stay. That’s what I’ve talked about before, but trust me, it works.

I went home this week for a few days. I took some time to figure things out with my parents on which path I wanted to take for the rest of school. I have been super stressed. Thinking I was wasting my time in the place I was in at school. I finally talked to someone and felt relieved for a few moments finally. Obviously, I want to continue to challenge myself and grow but my friend told me the other day that we should use our strengths in university. It’s okay to not be good at everything because this is where you find your place. What you like. What you dislike. And what’s hard about some of the programs is that they are so general in the first year. So you can’t fully figure out what you want to be in and that’s where I was getting stuck. So when I went home, I took time to figure life out for the present moment. And as it slightly worked, I feel like I am at least on a path that I am happy with for the moment.

I didn’t really have a plan for this blog. Nothing really extravagant and I kept thinking of things and then forgetting. I guess that happens sometimes. And if I think about anything that I wanted to write about then maybe I will post a few this week. Maybe some little check-ins or reminders.

STAY KIND:)