I turned 19 on Friday.

Officially legal, officially officially an adult.

I can’t believe I am actually saying that.

I am an adult.

It feels surreal.

Birthdays are always odd. one year older. one year wiser. is that the saying?

I don’t like the thought of another change. Another year passed.

It’s around this time where I realize that life is moving fast. It never slows down.

Then I think about the ‘catch-up’. Trying to accomplish everything before it’s too late… but what is too late? I believe that as long as you are taking care of yourself, your body, your mind, your soul; you should be able to do anything you want at any time in your life.

I read blogs here and there about “what to accomplish before you turn 20” or “25 things to do before your 30”. Although those are years away, I feel like some people think if they don’t that they aren’t truly living life.

Everyone is going to experience life in a different way. If we live the exact same life as someone else, we don’t discover our true purpose. There are many people on earth that inspire some of the paths I decide to take, but I have to decipher where I am going to twist it into my own.

I sometimes think about what I want to accomplish in a week or year but that’s as far as I get. I don’t want to get too ahead of myself and then miss what’s right in front of me.

Life’s too short to think far into the future for what you want. You have to change it right there and then if your path isn’t working for you. The moments you experience right now will build that “future” that you never even knew of. Just wait.

Birthdays.

They get you reflecting.

My day of birth. A day about me.

I don’t know how to feel. Being almost in a spotlight for a day is weird.

I just want to hang out with some of my favourite people and that’s exactly what I got to do.

Being the center of attention is too much for me even if it is just for my birthday. I just want to live laugh love life and enjoy exactly where I am… no extra push to be in the middle. Just being immersed in the crowd.

Because if I get to look back on these days and remember that I was with my favourite group, all equally having the best time ever, then I don’t care about the fact that it was a “big day”. I only care that I got to spend just another amazing night with some of my best friends or my family. No labels. Just life.

I was asked by a few friends what it felt like to “finally be 19” and for some reason, I couldn’t really give an answer. It was the oddest thing. I just had no feeling towards the day. It didn’t even really feel like a birthday in honesty.

I’ve been so emotional lately that I am crying as I am writing this. I literally don’t know why. I think I am realizing my worth lately. Just as a human. I throw all the kindness and positivity out into the world and to be honest, I’ve realized how much I need to protect it. I let small things go, I forgive, I forget and yet I’ve come to realize how much that hurts my energy. It’s exhausting and I need to protect my heart in so many cases.

Things are starting to get to me, big or small, and I don’t really know how to handle it. Maybe that will come with adulting.

STAY KIND:)

with love

Grace <3