Today, I said goodbye to second year.

I mean I’m not actually done yet, because my last exam isn’t until the 28, but now that everything else for me is online, it definitely feels like the end of another school year.

I left my student house today, but I am not trying to be dramatic but I won’t be back for three months.

And three months feels like a long time, but I feel like I am busy living another life for the time being. I am starting the trek to Seattle on Tuesday, and it feels surreal. I don’t even know how to feel, or put into words what is running racetracks in my head.

I am excited for this intermission chapter in my life, but it came too quickly. I packed up what will be my life for the next few months. On the go, living a different pace, in a different timezone, with different people. Life will just feel different.

I said goodbye to the roomies and my friends, and it just felt so much deeper than not seeing them for just a few months. Living with your close friends is such a precious time, but it goes by so quickly. So having to say goodbye today was truly hard, but I know when we come back together, everything will be amazing again.

I learned a lot in the past few weeks. I learned that when I’m burnt out, my procrastination is through the roof and I develop the attention span of a fish. I started getting a lot of ideas in my head that began to distract me from the present moment. There was just so much going on and time was just moving. But overall I learned that I don’t handle burn out well. I feel undeserving to take breaks although my body is trying to tell me to take them. But I don’t have the motivation to do any sort of school work. So I just accomplish nothing.

 

I did realize that we do deserve these moments of peace. Giving ourselves a true break, and understanding that it is needed. It was a hard lesson to learn, for the reason that I am an overachiever and don’t like doing nothing knowing I should be doing something. It is possible to be taking a physical break without actually taking a break, because our minds can still be running circles and it can further cause more exhaustion and distraction.

 

Also, I’ve talked to a few people about this already but I feel like every time I pack for something, whether it’s a few days or a whole month, I have to pack my ENTIRE wardrobe. If I don’t have all the options, I feel like I have nothing. That is a major problem, considering I have a shopping addiction and also for the fact that clothes would then take up my entire car. It would not turn out well at all. I had to be ruthless this time, and now I feel like I have nothing. Another lesson I have to learn, I guess. I also didn’t plan my packing, I just started putting clothes into my suitcase. So who knows if I am even prepared for this.

 

Anyway, I hope you all are doing well.

STAY KIND:)

with love

 

grace<3