New week and yet, so much has happened that my brain has gone into overdrive.
I can’t comprehend how fast things can happen and how fast change comes. It’s like a full force causing chaos and havoc in my life as soon as it enters my bubble. And to say the least I am extremely overwhelmed. Actually TO THE MAX.
To think that the past four years have just flown by so quickly and I have managed to make a decision that is forcing another huge shift in my life. In less than two months I will be packing up my life and moving across the country to BC. A whole new chapter. AHH.
To be honest, I have done this before, when I went on my internship to Seattle. But I also knew I was coming back. This time, it’s not so temporary. I will be living there for another phase of my academic career. And as exciting as I am to take on this new journey, I am scared, stressed, worried, anxious, exhausted… all the emotions have come flooding in. But through this cloud of grey, I am also just proud of myself for working towards this goal for the past two years. So it has definitely been a long time coming. But I kind of just thought it would be just that. A long time coming. Not just a couple of months away.
So this is another transition that I am making for myself but the repercussions of this move is basically moving away from my current life. And I don’t necessarily know how to feel about that. I feel like I am at a crossroads. I am ready for this next chapter, but I am sad to be leaving this part of my life at the same time. As many of you know, my life also strongly revolves around my people. And deep down I know they will all still be here, and they will continue to hold a strong position in my life. But I also know that I am going to have to step out of my comfort zone to a new community of people. A new city. A lively place.
Change is weird. I don’t like it most of the time but then I have to constantly remind myself that change is always happening, it’s just not always super abrupt and can be very subtle. But change does not mean bad either. Change can be good. It means we are growing, we are learning and we are working towards our goals. That’s something I have to continue to keep in mind as I make this move to BC. This is not because of anything bad but a product of a lot that I have worked towards.
Life is changing. It’s true. Life is moving fast and sometimes I don’t know how prepared I feel. Because now I am leaving my undergrad. I am leaving my first university. I am leaving my friends. And I am leaving my family. I am leaving my first student house. And to be honest, it truly just makes me sad. I don’t think I am ready to leave yet. But maybe I am?
To be honest, this has been my internal dialogue for quite a while. I am excited but scared, happy but sad, eager but worried. Every emotion I feel, I am also feeling the complete opposite emotion at the same time. So it can get a little overwhelming.
All in good time, everything will work out exactly in the way that it’s supposed to. And that’s the most I can control.
STAY KIND:)
with love
grace