So story time for this week.

 

On Wednesday, I decided to have a self-care day (after my morning class of course).

My afternoon class was cancelled, so what better way than to treat myself to a little coffee shop date.

So I walked to my house, grabbed what I needed and made my way to the bus stop.

THE WIND WAS CRAZY. But that didn’t stop me from waiting the extra ten minutes for the bus and going downtown.

And then a man got on the bus and started raising his voice. That was strike one. I got off at the stop and trekked the fifteen to my favourite downtown coffee shop, Mulberry’s. I was on my mission walk. I look serious, keep my head down and speed walk. It’s this habit I have, but I mean it gets me where I need to be. But also, walking should be fun, and I don’t have to look so serious all the time. Maybe that’s something I should be more aware of…

I walked through a sketchier part of downtown Hamilton. Probably not the greatest idea for me to walk alone but I mean I was determined for this self-care day. The weather was decent now and I was enjoying my walk downtown.

I got to Mulberry’s, order my coffee and sat at this high table. And I worked on school and life and just generally everything that my mind wandered too. And it was so good.

But then my anxiety kind of started taking over. It was weird. I was fine. And then I wasn’t. I was anxious about what was happening around me. Every sound, speech, shuffle. I didn’t get where this wave came from. But I was hyperaware? Hypersensitive might be the better word but everything started bothering me.

I enjoy my own company, and I am usually pretty comfortable going places in public by myself. But sitting at the high table started stressing me out. I think I stayed for a few hours. And I only got a minimal amount of work done. But I still was able to clear my headspace a little bit and switch up from my home environment for a short period.

I ended up leaving Mulberry’s. And walked outside to rain. Worst timing. But I wasn’t going to let this get in the way.

I started walking down the street and found one of my favourite thrift stores and tried to window shop a little. I am currently looking for cowboy boots. I just think they are so fun. I feel like I need a pair as a staple item. So I walked in and found the cutest pair… not in my size. So I decided to leave and embarked on my journey to the bus stop. My mission walk started again. And I booked it to find out I had a five minute walk to the stop where the bus was coming in five minutes.

I actually made it, hopped on the bus and made my way home. SOAKED.

So that was my self-care day. And it was not perfect to say the least. But I also tried to make the most of it.

Continuing to put myself out there and challenge my anxiety makes experiences like these more easily attainable. I want to be able to go out by myself. Get coffee. Enjoy my own space. Do something for me. There will always be small bumps in the road. And that’s okay. But continuing to push myself is the only way to get through these types of struggles.

I challenge you all to have a self-care moment. It doesn’t have to be coffee. But something that you love to do. Or go to a space where you feel productive. Plan. Set goals. Figure out your life. Whatever you desire. It’s these small moments that we keep close to us. To remember that our own company is important to protect.

 

I hope you are all doing well.

STAY KIND:)

with love

grace <3