Coming back from reading week feels off. I feel just unmotivated to do work for school.

I think that coming off of vacation and getting back in the groove is challenging. I mean writing 4 midterms the week leading up to leaving took a big toll on me. I truly saw the impact of stress buildup and it has been taking me a lot of time to get back.

I kinda learned something. Motivation is not a true switch or mindset but something based on actions. Consistency is what drives us to be more motivated. It is hard to force it right away. But building up to a lifestyle. I tend to think that I can just flip a switch and be motivated. But then I think of everything I have to do and get more overwhelmed with my mind go through list after list of what I have to accomplish.

Having to assess every detail of my life, and what I have to do is something that sometimes drives me crazy. Overanalyzing. It’s tiring. And that took over for me this week. It was hard to not fall into that trap. So that switch didn’t even flinch and it didn’t move. I was in my head to the point of not being able to do work. And it sucked.

Reading week falls at an odd time. And for my school, I feel like it’s really early. And my mind is on overdrive and then takes a lot of time to readjust after periods of immense stress. By the time that I “recover”, reading week is over.

So this week has felt like even more of a reset. It’s crazy to think that my second year of university is almost over. I am almost officially done half of my undergrad program. And then I feel like I have to start thinking about post-undergrad. Like where I am going to study for my grad, to apply. When I am going to write my big test. Do I even need to write a test? What about jobs…

All these ideas in my head and I feel like I don’t know where I even want to start. And then again, I don’t want to get caught up with what’s going to happen and rather stay in the present moment.

Anyways….

 

STAY KIND:)

with love

grace <3