This week was reading week for my school.

But reading week never feels like reading week. It feels more like a hard decision I have to make. Either I can stress about random things that I have due after the week or listen to my exhaustion and actually let myself take a break. It’s a hard choice to make, especially for a constantly overworked, perfectionist type of student who feels guilty for taking breaks. Fortunately, I got the opportunity to be with my family in Florida so it was a little easier to just give in and let myself rest, well kind of. Because at the same time, it’s just a paradoxical phenomenon. Because every other second, my mind is still running in a million circles.

Breaks are hard. And as humans, we need them. We need the opportunity to reset so we can prevent burnout. We need to be able to refresh our mind and body. Living at a constant high speed is exhausting, and I can say that first-hand. Truly the hardest thing is to slow down. Being accustomed to a constantly busy schedule makes it really hard to break the cycle and just take a break. When your brain feels like it is ‘on’ 24/7, you feel more challenged to just stop.

Such a weird thought. That we are the deciding factors to whether or not we get a break. Some psychological mechanism allowing us to mentally take a breather.

I keep reading about letting yourself have ‘lazy’ days and how having one a week is actually really beneficial. So I take it that this week was my build-up of lazy days that I have yet to take in the new semester. It is true though. Around this time, is where I begin to slowly feel the school burnout. On top of all the work, midterms, clubs, extracurriculars, my job and basically just every commitment, I also have to start thinking about the summer.

I get so many ideas in my head that it gets difficult to see through all the clutter. What job should I look for? Is summer school an option? Is my plan for NEXT SCHOOL YEAR even in check (I can’t believe I even have to start thinking about that)? What about my plans to see my friends and enjoy summer at school? Do I travel?

So many questions that seem so far away but that I also have to low-key start planning for.

Anyway, I call reading week my bi-week. No due dates (like no football games) but I could still be doing side-work to prep. And I have not really accomplished too much. It makes me think about all the students in college in sunny states. How do they get work done when it is so beautiful outside majority of the time?

On a completely different side note, I just spent the entire week with my family, and it was pretty amazing. One and a half years later and we are all back together, temporarily. To have a travelling sister is amazing because I get to see and hear about all of her adventures, but at the same time, I went a whole year and a half without her. And that is a difficult one to swallow. But we got a whole week with her before she adventures around the world again.

Before I knew it, the week flew by, and tonight I go back to the reality of school life again, which at the moment is a little bit stressful. But I believe I can get it all done (hopefully).

I hope for anyone who was on break this week that it was a restful reset.

 

STAY KIND:)

with love

grace <3